Last year I decided to revive a childhood game, so brother-proofed my brothers Christmas card by welding it into a steel envelope; this year in retaliation he presented me with this:
It had various sharp pieces of wire poking through the parcel tape and smelt strongly of epoxy resin. He handed me a pair of gloves and told me to open it outdoors.
Removing the tape revealed layers of wire mesh and fibreglass matting, both set into resin.
Luckily they were not fully saturated, which allowed me to first get hold of the wire and wrench it free.
Then grab hold of the exposed matting and tear through it using a pair of pliers.
Inside the fibreglass was a bunch of gravel; within, the end of the next layer was peeking out.
A good, hard yank broke this inner package free and I smashed most of the gravel off with a claw hammer. At this point, Chris helpfully informed me that what I was looking at was a heavy duty trauma bandage (soaked in yet more bloody fibreglass resin).
Trying to open this with pliers was futile; to get in I had to split the seam using a bolster and a lump hammer.
The inner layers of bandage were not soaked in resin, so I took a knife to them. I did put a couple of nicks in the edge when I hit the strands of garden wire that he had embedded, but got through in the end.
Inside the parcel tape, was a layer of bubble-wrap, that my knife made short work of.
I was finally able to slide out my slightly crumpled but intact card, now wrapped only in its envelope and a vacuum seal bag.
The card itself contained this message:
While he may have won this round (I was too busy with my new job to do anything), expect another update about this time next year.